{"id":2716,"date":"2023-08-11T09:49:39","date_gmt":"2023-08-11T09:49:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/?p=2716"},"modified":"2023-08-12T12:44:55","modified_gmt":"2023-08-12T12:44:55","slug":"should-a-narcissist-marry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/","title":{"rendered":"Should a Narcissist Marry? #XNarcAbuse"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_55 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\" role=\"button\"><label for=\"item-674460b55eab5\" ><span class=\"\"><span style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input aria-label=\"Toggle\" aria-label=\"item-674460b55eab5\"  type=\"checkbox\" id=\"item-674460b55eab5\"><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Should_a_Narcissist_Marry\" title=\"Should a Narcissist Marry?\">Should a Narcissist Marry?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-2'><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#The_Narcissist%E2%80%99s_False_Self_While_Wooing\" title=\"The Narcissist&#8217;s False Self While Wooing\">The Narcissist&#8217;s False Self While Wooing<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Evaluating_Their_Capacity_for_True_Intimacy\" title=\"Evaluating Their Capacity for True Intimacy\">Evaluating Their Capacity for True Intimacy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#The_Disastrous_Mix_Narcissist_and_Empath\" title=\"The Disastrous Mix: Narcissist and Empath\">The Disastrous Mix: Narcissist and Empath<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#The_Pain_Inflicted_on_Spouses\" title=\"The Pain Inflicted on Spouses\">The Pain Inflicted on Spouses<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Impact_on_Children\" title=\"Impact on Children\">Impact on Children<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#The_Narcissistic_Spouse%E2%80%99s_Daily_Reality\" title=\"The Narcissistic Spouse&#8217;s Daily Reality\">The Narcissistic Spouse&#8217;s Daily Reality<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Why_Partners_Remain_Trapped\" title=\"Why Partners Remain Trapped\">Why Partners Remain Trapped<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-2'><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Possibilities_for_Change\" title=\"Possibilities for Change\">Possibilities for Change<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#Weighing_Reform_vs_Refraining_from_Marriage\" title=\"Weighing Reform vs Refraining from Marriage\">Weighing Reform vs Refraining from Marriage<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/should-a-narcissist-marry\/#How_Ethical_Narcissists_Could_Date\" title=\"How Ethical Narcissists Could Date\">How Ethical Narcissists Could Date<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Should_a_Narcissist_Marry\"><\/span>Should a Narcissist Marry?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<p>A narcissist\u2019s disordered personality wreaks havoc in intimate relationships. This raises questions around the ethics of narcissists pursuing marriage and whether they can truly fulfill spousal duties. While some narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum in the general population, for those meeting the clinical threshold, the capacity to maintain healthy marriage appears severely compromised. However, given narcissism\u2019s foundations in childhood wounds, one must have compassion while also preventing further harm. This nuanced dilemma requires analyzing key considerations.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Narcissist%E2%80%99s_False_Self_While_Wooing\"><\/span>The Narcissist&#8217;s False Self While Wooing<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When courting potential partners, narcissists often strategically present their most glittering, attractive facade. Charm offensives are launched through:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Love bombing via constant communication, lavish gifts, and boundless compliments<\/li>\n<li>Mirroring the target\u2019s interests, values, and dreams to create false twinship<\/li>\n<li>Flooding them with promises of an idealized future together<\/li>\n<li>Denigrating the target\u2019s existing relationships to monopolize affection<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This masks the narcissist\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/relationships\/healing\/discover-your-true-authentic-self\/\" title=\"Discover Your True Authentic Self\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">true deficient self<\/a> underneath the flashy presentation.<\/p>\n<p><!-- Continue with the rest of your content --><\/p>\n<p><!-- ... Previous content ... --><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Evaluating_Their_Capacity_for_True_Intimacy\"><\/span>Evaluating Their Capacity for True Intimacy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>True intimacy requires:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Expressing emotional and sexual vulnerabilities<\/li>\n<li>Compromise and considering a partner&#8217;s needs\/wants equally<\/li>\n<li>Mutual understanding of each other\u2019s inner worlds<\/li>\n<li>The ability to self-reflect and admit wrongdoing<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These <a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/relationships\/narcissistic-mother\/narcissistic-mother-traits-signs-how-to-cope-and-deal\/\" title=\"Narcissistic Mother Traits- Signs &#8211; How to Cope and Deal\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">traits contradict the narcissist\u2019s<\/a> profound sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and fragility when not dominant in the relationship. Their disorder impedes essential intimacy.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Disastrous_Mix_Narcissist_and_Empath\"><\/span>The Disastrous Mix: Narcissist and Empath<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Initially, the giving, patient empath is the narcissist\u2019s ideal target. But this toxicity is guaranteed:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Love bombing switches to chronic criticism and neglect of the partner.<\/li>\n<li>The empath\u2019s needs are dismissed and only the narcissist\u2019s matter.<\/li>\n<li>Narcissistic rage and frightening extremes of behavior emerge.<\/li>\n<li>The partner is isolated from outside support and tries desperately to people-please.<\/li>\n<li>The empath develops trauma bonds and loses their sense of self.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This dynamic amounts to psychological imprisonment and abuse.<\/p>\n<p><!-- Continue with the rest of your content --><\/p>\n<p><!-- ... Previous content ... --><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Pain_Inflicted_on_Spouses\"><\/span>The Pain Inflicted on Spouses<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Spouses of narcissists suffer profoundly:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Spiraling self-doubt and plummeting self-esteem<\/li>\n<li>Depression, anxiety, PTSD symptoms from living with a volatile egomaniac<\/li>\n<li>Chronic cognitive dissonance trying to reconcile their pain with the person they love<\/li>\n<li>Loss of identity, passions, goals, and close relationships<\/li>\n<li>Exhaustion from managing all domestic responsibilities, walking on eggshells<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The abuse wreaks psychological and even physical havoc.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Impact_on_Children\"><\/span>Impact on Children<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Growing up with a narcissistic parent leads to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Role modeling of entitlement, aggression, and manipulation<\/li>\n<li>Parentification &#8211; children adopt caretaker roles<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/why-you-cant-leave-understanding-emotional-abuse\/\" title=\"Why You Can&#8217;t Leave: Understanding Emotional Abuse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Emotional neglect or abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Losing trust and security in the family system<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This can imprint <a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/narcissists-major-weaknesses-and-insecurities-the-complex-personality-trait-of-narcissism\/\" title=\"Narcissist&#8217;s major Weaknesses and Insecurities &#8211; The Complex Personality Trait of Narcissism:\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">narcissistic traits<\/a> intergenerationally.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Narcissistic_Spouse%E2%80%99s_Daily_Reality\"><\/span>The Narcissistic Spouse&#8217;s Daily Reality<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Life with a narcissist means:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Living under tyranny and siege conditions due to their hair-trigger rages<\/li>\n<li>Chronically hustling to meet unreasonable demands, standards, deadlines<\/li>\n<li>Being demeaned and discarded whenever their fragile ego feels threatened<\/li>\n<li>Managing all domestic responsibilities solo with no appreciation<\/li>\n<li>Having no safe space &#8211; privacy is nonexistent<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This day-to-day environment destroys spousal wellbeing.<\/p>\n<p><!-- Continue with the rest of your content --><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2718\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2718\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2718\" src=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Should a Narcissist Marry #XNarcAbuse ThyselfRecovery\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-175x98.jpg 175w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-450x253.jpg 450w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery-1170x658.jpg 1170w, https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Should-a-Narcissist-Marry-XNarcAbuse-ThyselfRecovery.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2718\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Should a Narcissist Marry #XNarcAbuse ThyselfRecovery<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Partners_Remain_Trapped\"><\/span>Why Partners Remain Trapped<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<p>Despite the nightmare of narcissistic relating, many spouses stay married. Reasons include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Trauma bonding<\/strong> &#8211; intermittent abuse and kindness keep partners addictively chasing validation.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Financial control<\/strong> &#8211; the narcissist may prevent independence.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Low self-esteem<\/strong> &#8211; victims lose sense of worth and options.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Normalizing dysfunction<\/strong> &#8211; cognitive dissonance leads to acceptance.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Internalizing blame<\/strong> &#8211; victims self-attack rather than holding partners accountable.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Fear<\/strong> &#8211; the narcissist weaponizes threats, retaliation, and frightening rages if opposed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This mix of psychological and logistical factors keeps victims imprisoned.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Possibilities_for_Change\"><\/span>Possibilities for Change<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Some experts argue narcissism exists on a continuum and productive shifts are possible. Successful treatment requires:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Motivation for <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/codependency\/how-does-marrying-a-narcissist-change-you-xnarcabuse\/\" title=\"How Does Marrying a Narcissist Change You &#8211; #XnarcAbuse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">change &#8211; the narcissist<\/a> admits their behaviors are harmful.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Committing to long-term therapy<\/strong> with an experienced narcissism specialist.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Developing insight into the childhood wounds<\/strong> driving their disorder.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Learning to self-reflect<\/strong> with brutal honesty.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Consistently exhibiting empathy, compromise,<\/strong> and consideration for others&#8217; needs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Without motivation and follow-through, substantial change is unlikely.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ... continue with the rest of the content ... --><\/p>\n<p><!-- ... previous content ... --><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Weighing_Reform_vs_Refraining_from_Marriage\"><\/span>Weighing Reform vs Refraining from Marriage<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If self-awareness remains elusive and the narcissist resists therapeutic work, pursuing marriage appears deeply unethical. However, if breakthroughs are achieved, marriage may become feasible over a long evidence-based period of successful behavioral change. Minimal ethical criteria would include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Accepting full responsibility<\/strong> for past wrongdoing without excuses or blaming the victim.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Listening to feedback patiently<\/strong> even if difficult truths are shared.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Controlling egocentric impulses<\/strong> and considering what the partner wants.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Managing destructive behaviors<\/strong> related to rage, envy, insecurity.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Practicing empathy and true reciprocity.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>With years of earnest reconditioning, ethical marrying may become possible. But integrity would demand full transparency about their condition when dating.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_Ethical_Narcissists_Could_Date\"><\/span>How Ethical Narcissists Could Date<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Should narcissists commit to evolve, experts suggest:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Seeking long-term therapy<\/strong> and joining support groups.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Avoiding romance until mastering self-awareness<\/strong> and interpersonal skills.<\/li>\n<li><strong>When dating, immediately disclosing<\/strong> their narcissistic history and growth process.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Moving extremely slowly with romantic prospects<\/strong> to demonstrate change.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Continuing to take inventory of themselves<\/strong> when in relationships.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Listening to feedback carefully<\/strong> even when their reflex is defensiveness.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Willingly answering any questions<\/strong> prospects have regarding their capacity for healthy relating.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>With extreme diligence, those overcoming engrained narcissistic traits could potentially date with everyone&#8217;s wellbeing considered. But proceeding ethically would require patience, courage, and a commitment to transparency.<\/p>\n<p>In closing, the question of whether <a href=\"https:\/\/thyselftherapy.com\/attachment-style\/interdependency\/what-kind-of-woman-does-a-narcissist-marry-xnarcabuse\/\" title=\"What kind of woman does a narcissist marry?  #XnarcAbuse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">narcissists should marry<\/a> has no universal answer. But analyzing narcissistic behaviors with nuance rather than condemnation allows us to discern ethical complexities. We must balance realism about typical limitations with compassion for the narcissist\u2019s humanity and potential. Such wisdom can hopefully lessen suffering for all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Should a Narcissist Marry? A narcissist\u2019s disordered personality wreaks havoc in intimate relationships. This raises questions around the ethics of narcissists pursuing marriage and whether they can truly fulfill spousal duties. While some narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum in the general population, for those meeting the clinical threshold, the capacity to maintain healthy marriage <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2718,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_daextam_enable_autolinks":"1","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24,6,3,52],"tags":[391,493,434,475,385,459,494,492,491,495,496,474,473,490,393,489],"class_list":{"0":"post-2716","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-attachment-style","8":"category-causes-of-narcissism","9":"category-narcissistic-personality-disorder","10":"category-relationships","11":"tag-xnarcabuse","12":"tag-divorce-narcissist","13":"tag-divorcing-a-narcissist","14":"tag-divorcing-a-narcissist-guide","15":"tag-divorcing-narcissistic-husband","16":"tag-divorcing-narcissistic-wife","17":"tag-life-after-narcissistic-relationship","18":"tag-life-with-a-narcissist","19":"tag-married-a-narcissist","20":"tag-narcissist-breakup","21":"tag-narcissist-divorce-process","22":"tag-narcissist-divorce-smear-campaign","23":"tag-narcissist-ex-during-divorce","24":"tag-narcissist-relationship","25":"tag-narcissistic-marriage","26":"tag-should-a-narcissist-marry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.4 (Yoast SEO v22.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Should a Narcissist Marry? #XNarcAbuse - ThyselfTherapy.com - Know more about Thyself<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should a Narcissist Marry? 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